“The point of relationship is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good relationship is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.” Rilke
I love this idea. Haridas Chauduri also talks about the immature urge to merge or become united in love, which is another way of saying what Rilke has said above. The idea is that even if you like the idea of us all being united by something common we are still individuals and any mature and sustainable love relationship will recognize, honor and support development of individuality and the integrity of the partner as well as the self, appreciating that within our differences lies the beauty of the world and the uniquely manifested essence of life or principal of diversity.